Bother or not to Bother?

Ger dun believe in it

2009-03-24T22:13:00.000+08:00

Out of all of the attractive women YOU know...how many of them have dated a "jerk"?
For me, the answer is ALL OF THEM.
Many women SAY they want a "nice" guy... but if you ask her how long she dated the last nice guy she met, she'll usually say "3 or 4 dates..."
But ask how her how long she dated the last "jerk", and she'll often say YEARS... or... "I'm still dating him now!"
Something about these guys leads women to do CRAZY things. I've seen women leave family, friends and careers behind to follow a "jerk"across the country... shutting out EVERYONE who tells her to move on... EVEN HER CLOSEST FRIENDS.

2009-03-09T03:06:00.002+08:00

Here are a few of the BIG things that single women hate:

1) Giving Up Your Status In Exchange For Her Attention And Approval

Men, in effect, say "Hi, I want your approval and attention. I'm willing to let YOU be the one who's in control... and let YOU call the shots...and do anything to please YOU... if you'll give me your attention and approval".
But the problem is that women DON'T WANT you to give up your status and "manliness".

Women aren't ATTRACTED to men who act weak and tentative.
Women secretly HATE IT when a guy does something to demonstrate that he'll give away his power in return for approval.

More importantly, think about how you're going to STOP DOING IT IMMEDIATELY.
2) Being Needy, Clingy, And Insecure
When one person "clings" to another person"psychologically", the person who is being"clinged to" RESENTS and REJECTS the needy, clingy emotional parasite...
This is WUSS behavior at its worst.
If a guy is on the phone with a girl he justmet, and she says "Hey, I have to go", he mightsay "Aw, well... um... OK. Um, will you call me when you get home?".
Or let's say a guy and a girl are out on their first date, and they're walking around in a large department store.
Most guys will follow the woman everywhere, and not leave her side for a minute.
If she wanders away, he'll come find her IMMEDIATELY.
He'll stay physically close to her, as if he's afraid she'll leave without him.
And an even worse example is a guy who is so emotionally insecure that he actually ASKS a woman to tell him that he's nice, fun, interesting, etc.
"Do you think I'm interesting?"
"Do you think we could ever have a relationship?"
"Am I your type?"
Women HATE this stuff. It makes them shiver with the heebie-jeebies. It makes them want to RUNAWAY.

3) Not Leading - And Even Worse, Trying To Get Her To Lead
Women have WUSS-DAR.
One of the things that triggers a woman's WUSS-DAR is a man who FOLLOWS.
The REAL problem is that most women won't try to LEAD naturally.
So you've got a situation where a man is trying to FOLLOW a woman who isn't LEADING.
He's looking for little cues so he knows where to go and what to do... but he isn't getting them.
So what does he do?
He ASKS for them!
He says "So, I was thinking of maybe taking you to Olive Garden for dinner... how does that sound?".
Everything about the way he asks says to the woman "I'm trying to figure out what you want me to do... please help me know how you want me to act, where you want me to take you, and what you want me to say".
This is ATTRACTION DEATH!
Men who don't lead, and even worse, try to get a woman to lead, ANNOY THE HELL OUT OF SINGLE WOMEN.
They HATE IT!

4) Using Insecure, Approval-Seeking, Low- Status Posture, Gestures, Voice Tone, And Body Language

5) Not Understanding That She's A Woman And You're A Man

6) Not Being Interesting To Be Around

7) Not Understanding Attraction

Am i rite?

2009-02-24T11:47:00.002+08:00

You can't "make a woman like you" or "change how she feels about you" by doing nice things for her...
Doing "nice" things for a woman who isn't attracted to you HURTS you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the "Instant Ewww" feeling that makes it so she'll NEVER like you.
Men make this mistake over and over again in life because they're doing what MAKES SENSE to them. They're doing it because they don't have an understanding of ATTRACTION.
I mean, if you have a friend, and you like them, and you want to make them like you more...and you do some nice things for them, they will probably like you more.
On the other hand...
If you have a woman that you "like" in a romantic way and she doesn't "feel it" for you, and you do something nice for her because you want HER to like you more, it will BACKFIRE... and she will not only NOT like you more, she will most likely distance herself from you.
Guys think that they need to communicate when they like a woman... as if that's part of the necessary process of getting a girl.
In their minds, it goes like this:
Like her -> Tell her you like her -> She likes you
Well remember... if you follow this pattern yourself with women who aren't ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to BACKFIRE.
If she's not into you, then it goes like THIS:
She thinks of you as a friend -> You tell her you like her -> She gets the "Instant Ewwws" and never wants to be around you again...
THE ANSWER
There are really TWO answers to this problem.
The first answer is what to do if you're in a situation where you like a particular girl, but you don't know if she likes you back.
DON'T GET HEAVY WITH HER.
Don't buy her a big gift and write a love letter...
Don't send her ten dozen roses to her work with a note that says, "From your secret admirer".
Don't call her three times a day.
And DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for her.
If you want to know how she feels about you, KISS HER (and use "The Kiss Test" )

As a rule of thumb, don't get heavier than HER. Use SIGNALS from her to find out how she feels...and if you don't know how to read and create those signals, then LEARN.
Asking a woman if she's interested in you in a romantic way or if you are "her type", will actually DESTROY the chances that she'll like you.
Really.
The SECOND answer is: Don't get into this particular situation in the FIRST PLACE. Avoid it entirely.
And how does one do that?
One does that by creating ATTRACTION from the beginning.
One does that by understanding the dynamics ofhow and why women have the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION triggered.

That story is basically a MYTH.

2009-02-24T11:38:00.001+08:00

Once upon a time, there was a man who was very attracted to a particular woman.
At first, she was just another attractive woman... but the more he got to know her, the more he began to feel attracted to her... and the more time he spent with her, the more that attraction grew into a deep emotional attachment and affection for her.
But, there was one problem.
As his emotional attachment grew stronger and stronger, he also grew more and more insecure.
Why?
Because he couldn't tell whether or not she felt the same way towards him.
Sometimes, she would say things like, "You are so important to me" and "I'm glad that you're in my life"... but nothing ever progressed past the"friendship" stage.
There was an occasional hug, an occasional kiss on the cheek from her... and once, she even held his hand for a long time while he talked about an emotional issue.
But, something was wrong with the picture.
She just wasn't acting like a woman that was "falling in love". She was acting like a friend.
The insecurity that he felt became a spiral that amplified itself... and the more insecure he became, the more afraid he grew of "screwing things up" by kissing her or asking her to be his girlfriend.
Plus, the more insecure he became, the less time she seemed to want to spend with him.
After spending many days and nights obsessing over this girl, the man finally arrived at the conclusion that, if she only knew how HE FELT, she would feel the same way.

2009-02-21T14:27:00.001+08:00

I honestly believe that most men CAUSE their own problems and resistance when it comes to"getting physical" with a woman.
Yes, you read that right... MEN are the ones who CAUSE the problems.
It's not the woman!
It's the fact that you don't understand the situation, what's REALLY going on, and how to proceed.
WHAT WOMEN WANT... BUT WILL NEVER TELL YOU
Here's a little secret that most women will NEVER share with you...
SHE KNOWS WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND.
Women can tell what you're thinking!
If you want to kiss her, but you're nervous about it, SHE KNOWS.
If you're kissing her and want to do more...SHE KNOWS.

When you say, "I love you"

2009-02-21T14:06:00.000+08:00

When you say, "I love you" - in her head the woman hears:
"He is admitting to me that he likes me, which gives me all the power, which, for some strange reason, makes me not like him as much anymore."
I realize that this sounds crazy, and doesn't make a whole lot of "logical sense", but it's what usually happens.

Why You Should NOT Compliment A Woman‏

2009-02-11T00:43:00.000+08:00

To compliment or not to compliment... that is the question.
Women tell us they want us to compliment them.
Your mom told you to be nice to girls, right?
And we guys like to really "turn up" thecompliments when we LIKE a woman...
But here's the question:
Do compliments create ATTRACTION when you first meet a woman?
Most of the time the answer is NO.
I have a word for guys who like to give womenlots of compliments when they first meet her.
That word is WUSSY.

If you put a group of attractive women togetherin a club or bar, and watch them carefully, you'll see something interesting begin to happen...
The women will start doing "catty" things, likelooking each other up and down with disgusted looks, making negative comments to their friends about how other women look, and trying to intimidate other women with their eyes.
Most men would never notice this subtle communication that's going on between women, but if you look for it, you'll find it.
The fact is that women don't like to compete with each other on the football field, they compete to be the most attractive.
Men could really care less what a woman is wearing or how she's dressed for the most part. Sure, it's nice to see a woman dressed well, butit's just not that important.
But for women it's a whole different matter entirely.
Women, and especially attractive women, don't like the idea that another woman is getting more attention than her. And women can tell very quickly if another woman is more attractive...this leads to "bitch looks", negative comments,and other amazing displays.
To summarize, women don't spend a lot of time fixing themselves up to get compliments, they do it to compete with and impress other women. Ask a few attractive, well-dressed women about this and they'll tell you.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COMPLIMENTING A GIRL YOU DON'T KNOW VERY WELL AND A "SPECIAL" GIRL
My topic is women and dating.
WOMEN AND DATING.
It's not "women you're in a relationship with"or "special girls" or anything of the sort.
After you've gone out with a woman for a fewmonths or so, and she proves to you beyond the shadow of a doubt that she's a great PERSON, thenI think it's great to consider making her your "special girl."
And yes, the dynamics change at that point. You can be nicer... you can be more complimentary...you can do more thoughtful things... At this stagethis kind of thing will have a different meaning(BUT, DON'T EVER TURN INTO A WUSSY!)
As I mentioned, if you start talking to anattractive woman and you immediately start withthe "You are beautiful and I'm not worthy"routine, you shoot yourself in the foot.
There's a HUGE opportunity in these firstmeeting situations, but most guys never even CONSIDER it because it's not what comes naturally.
The thing to do when you meet an attractive woman is to actually TEASE AND BUST on her a bit,rather than giving her compliments.
This effectively scrambles her whole programand causes her to lose her composure. It takes her off guard and shakes her out of her world... so you can actually have a conversation.
Remember the newsletter a while back with theguy who walks up to women and says, "Your fly is open", then walks away?
The woman always comes and finds him to say,"You're a JERK!"... and then he laughs at her...and the woman winds up going out with him.
Verrrrrry interesting.
Do you think it would work the same way if he walked up to women and said, "You're amazingly beautiful" and then walked away?
I think not.
So in summary, it's true... women do in factlike compliments. But, if you want to make a woman feel that magical feeling of ATTRACTION for you, then you might think twice about giving them too early on.
Women like compliments that they have to WORK FOR a lot more than the ones that just come to them.
...and if you're reading this right now and thinking to yourself, "You know, I need to learn this stuff about how to meet and attract women soI can get rid of that insecure and fearful feelingI have", then YOU'RE RIGHT!
I think that every man should invest in himself and learn this skill.
Unfortunately, most guys never take the timeand invest in themselves... and they wind up going their whole lives WISHING that they could attractthe kinds of women that they want.